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BSO 2014

The past year....

Jessika Wahls

My past year in terms of blogging...very lazy.....very lazy indeed!But there you go, new year, new blog, new ideas and plenty of them! But to begin one must start where one ended, and that was pretty much january 2010. I should think the easiest way to approach writing about a whole year, is to categorize it into important events. So there was- my move to Streatham,- a chance encounter with a chapelier, a hatter so to say, through whom i had the honour of representing my country @ the Royal Ascot, by wearing a rather eccentric head piece... That week was an exciting one, as i managed to pull off wearing one dress on 3 different occasions... The Royal Ascot,- my brothers wedding and Torture garden ....;)

That's what i call- RESULT :)

Before all of that, i had an even more exciting event happening, which even in the grand scheme of things, will be holding up against a lot for years to come! My stint @ the Tate Modern.

To begin wih i must thank Mr. Luis Franck, without whom this would have never happened, so: THANK YOU LUIS :) To cut a semi long story short, it was the 10th anniversary of the Tate Modern, and the , a new and exciting exhibition for non professional artists, got a spot in the Turbine Hall. One had to go there with ones piece of art, face a jury that would not only scrutinize the art piece, but also dug deep into who YOU are. And then you wait....and wait...... and then at some point, when all hope had faded away, a lovely lady came strolling towards me, adorned with my painting, which i was already preparing to take home with me again, only to inform me, that in fact "my dead little bird" was chosen to be hung in the exhibition. This should have felt like a grand moment, since in retrospective-it was, yet it didn't feel like anything much at all. I suppose the saying applies "happiness is only real when shared" That couldn't have been any truer that very moment.I had to leave the building and make my way home, until slowly, very slowly feelings of relief, excitement, and surely a bit of pride set in.

The painting has been donated to the exhibition and remains with it, as i felt it a fitting 'send-off' to a rather upsetting, if informative time of my life. The boy on the painting likes to call himself Sigmund and has contributed to a great deal of enlightenment, but also to an even greater amount of upset and despair. It was the perfect time to close that chapter! There was one more attempt to clear my system of what he had unsettled and troubled, but i had to abort it and admit to myself, that the upset had gone as well as the scorn, and replaced with some kind of indifference. , The painting is now resting soundly beneath a rather interesting new piece of art, which is still very much in the making! I can safely say, that i became to happy to remain hurt and resentful, to further give my attention to somebody, that didn't deserve it in the first place. All the latter mentioned has happened since i fell in love. And when i say fell, i suppose the correct term would be falling, as i am still falling every day....

The reason for enclosing all these rather personal details to my state of mind and my emotions is quite simple. I suppose some of my best pieces yet, have been born out of extrem despair as well as uplifting happiness , neither of which is a constant state, though it is and remains within my art and is without a doubt one of the main driving forces.